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Your Horoscope
- For Teenaged Boys & Girls

By V. Subhash, a certified astrologer and alumnus of People's School of Self-Criticism, Pessimism and Astrology, People's Republic of China.

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To find your sign, check the date interval within which your birthday falls.

Horoscope

These predictions are valid for the next 7 days.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

Finally, you meet the girl of your dreams. But she wants nothing more than a ticket from the bus conductor.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)

You will start going out with a North-Indian girl. You will come to realize that, apart from the accent, they are just as problematic as local ones.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 21)

You will be relieved that the guy who has a habit of "looking" at you in the bus stand is no longer doing that. Your relief turns in to a strange feeling of loss when the guy begins to devote his attentions on a more good-looking girl.

CANCER (June 22 to July 22)

You take great pride in the fact that your (girls) college attracts a lion's share of Roadside Romeos indulging in eve-teasing. Ironically enough, you also take part in protest marches against eve-teasing.

LEO (July 23 to August 22)

You make great strides in speaking fluent English, but this only makes the girls characterize you as noisy and stupid.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22)

You wish you could turn your boyfriend into a cat and keep him as a pet at home. Well, don't.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 23)

Your dream of getting a rich girlfriend comes true. Your dream of significant financial savings doesn't.

SCORPIO (October 24 to November 21)

Bad news and good news. The bad news is that you will be caught using bits for the physics test. The good news is that you will let off because the bits were for the chemistry test.

SAGITARRIUS (November 22 to December 21)

You are outraged that a girl in your college has been teased by a student of a rival college. Though it turns out that the culprit was actually a student of your own college, it is too late because you are arrested for throwing a brick at a bus windshield.

CAPRICON (December 22 to January 19)

Your balloon of happiness in joining a co-ed college is pricked by seniors who insist on ragging you in front of female members of your class.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18)

Your interest in footboard travel comes to an end as you are run over by a truck after you fell from a bus, after you hit a lamp post.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20)

You are looking for a guy who listens to you, laughs at your jokes, cares about you, ignores your faults, loves you no matter what, …… Stop it! This person is your father. See a psychiatrist.