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By V. Subhash, a certified astrologer and alumnus of People's School of Self-Criticism, Pessimism and Astrology, People's Republic of China.
To find your sign, check the date interval within which your birthday falls.
These predictions are valid for the next 7 days.
You finally meet the girl of your dreams. But she will only want you to get a ticket from the bus conductor.
You will start going out with a North-Indian girl. You will come to realize that, apart from the accent, they are just as problematic as local ones.
You will be relieved that the guy who has a habit of "looking" at you in the bus stand is no longer doing that. Your relief turns in to a strange feeling of loss when the guy begins to devote his attentions on a more good-looking girl.
You take great pride in the fact that your (girls') college attracts a lion's share of roadside Romeos indulging in eve-teasing. Ironically enough, you also take part in protest marches against eve-teasing.
You make great strides in speaking fluent English, but this only makes the girls characterize you as a noisy annoyance.
You wish you could turn your boyfriend into a cat and keep him as a pet at home. Well, don't.
Your dream of getting a rich girlfriend comes true. Your dream of significant financial savings doesn't.
Bad news and good news. The bad news is that you will be caught using bits for the physics test. The good news is that you will let off because the bits were for the chemistry test.
You are outraged that a girl in your college has been teased by a student of a rival college. Though it turns out that the culprit was actually a student of your own college, it is too late because you are arrested for throwing a brick at a bus windshield.
Your balloon of happiness in joining a co-ed college is pricked by seniors who insist on ragging you in front of female members of your class.
Your interest in footboard travel comes to an end as you are run over by a truck after falling from a bus, after hitting a lamppost.
You are looking for a guy who listens to you, laughs at your jokes, cares about you, ignores your faults, loves you no matter what, …… Stop it! This person is your father. Get an appointment with a psychiatrist.
---o0O0o---
This article was first published in September 2006.
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© V. Subhash, 2010. All rights reserved.
Moral Volcano is the work of an Indian, thinker, astrologer, software programmer, GNU/Linux user, web designer, technical writer, lexicographer, hacker, gamer, pioneer IE Blocker, amateur photographer, and somewhat podcast transcriptionist. named V. Subhash (Me). I have written a fake American Policy for Dummies book. My e-book How To Invest In Stocks PDF eBook is free but not fake. So, I my PDF eBook version of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary, which was created using the all-text original provided by the Guttenberg project and a free software HTMLDoc.
I do not have any time for social notworking sites such as Facebook. They cause a huge loss of productivity in offices where employees have access to Internet. I had a Johnny Bravo fan site but that was gone when Yahoo closed Geocities. Sites such as Facebook, Linked-In, MySpace, Orkut, and Twitter thrive only because spies and marketers feel there is a great need for easy access to demographic and personal information. "Free" pretends to be free for a reason. Otherwise, everything comes with a price tag.
Finally, this website blocks Internet Explorer - all versions, not just IE6. This is the first website on the Internet to do so. If you have a website, I welcome you to do so.
